Within my revisions of core 4 there were two poems that I didn’t make any changes to at all. These poems are called Sterile and Ice. I think a part of the reason for not changing these poems is because I worked on changing them so much throughout the semester that by this time they are fully finished. Also, before even writing these poems I understood exactly what I wanted to portray when reading them.
The first poem that I decided to change was Boiling. I completely deleted the first two stanza which read. “ As I was drowning you tied rocks to my legs But now I’ve hiked to the peak, You ask for honesty Do you want the ‘right’ answer?”. I decided to delete these because the first two stanzas of this poem are completely different scenarios than the rest of the poem so it makes sense that the flow works so much better without it. I also enjoy that my new first line which is “It simmers in her chest Like water left to boil” is much more punchy than the previous first line.
The second poem that I decided to change was called Endeavorment of Meeting Someone There. I had a difficult time changing this poem because I truly didn’t know where I wanted to go with it or even the purpose/ message I wanted to convey to someone reading the poem. So, I decided to change it completely. This poem took me a long time to come to terms with, I definitely still have things I don’t want to face within this poem.
The difference of getting to hear feedback from others before explaining my poems to them vs after was really interesting. I liked getting to read my poem aloud the way I had written it to others then having them reflect on that. I believe it gave them a different perspective that was able to help them come up with other notes than what they had originally written by reading it and interpreting it by themselves. I preferred the peer review the way we did with groups of 3 that way you aren’t just hearing from one other person. This made it easier to bounce ideas off of each other and brainstorm to improve not just my own poem, but my partners. Hearing from my own professor was also helpful granted that the revision process doesn’t normally involve one’s professor. So, getting feedback from the one who teaches the poetry class was something I appreciated having the opportunity of. In terms of revising my poems, I made minor edits from the suggestions I was given. I find it difficult coming to terms with the way my poems turn out. This is because I always feel like there is room for improvement. Having read my poems over and over again, looking for ways to make it better, taking in the feedback I was given by others, it’s hard to make final edits. The way I avoided going down a constant hole of this was by not overanalyzing things too deeply. I am pleased with the outcome of my poems because I enjoyed the challenging writing process of them and they are something of a topic that resonates with me.
Throughout the semester, I have thoroughly enjoyed creating and reflecting on my own poetry as well as looking into the work and minds of other poets. One of my favorite poems I created came from our third free write, which I titled Prey for the Birds. I was inspired to include bird analogies as I think of birds representing freedom and strength; however, for that animal, it can quickly be taken away with one mistake. This poem reflects on a difficult time in my life, and it felt good to take a step back and look at it from a different angle, comparing it to the life and habits of a bird. This was one of the poems I chose for our Core 4 reflections, and I enjoyed further developing bird-like connotations and using this piece to reflect on the moment vs how I feel now. Another favorite poem from this semester was Sister because I relate it to my own sibling dynamic. I appreciate how the poem walks us along with the author’s memories of their youth and how their relationship with their sister developed. I especially enjoy the line, “because of you the house is warm.” I notice a tone of coming to terms with their relationship over the years and how their growth is admired. By the end of this piece, it’s clear the author has so much admiration for their sibling, and it seems the two are connected regardless of where life takes them. My relationship with my sibling is extremely important to me, and it’s nice to see that represented in another person’s values as well.
This semester really allowed me to become extremely comfortable with a writing style that I was not super familiar with before, which was poetry. It was something that I had no real prior knowledge of, and having the opportunity to really learn more about what poetry is and how to actually write it. With the knowledge and discussions that I faced throughout this semester, I truly believe that I wrote some of my best work in this course, and now I want to look back on some of the pieces that I had the pleasure of both reading and writing this semester. Firstly, I want to note one of the poems that I wrote this semester, and that is “Voices”, which ended up as one of my Core 4 poems. I felt this poem was my strongest poem, as it really combined my love of horror with my personable writing that I use to really tell my story of who I am as a person. All my writings are dedicated to the horror genre, but also are poems that are derived from my experiences in life, and I feel that this one combined my writing techniques with my love of genre the most fluently. I implemented some song lyrics that were written by a singer that I look up to and they really acted as the voices that I battle deep within me every day. This was a poem that laid my whole heart out to the reader, and I feel like the writing and story were incredibly strong.
When it comes to poems that we read and discussed in class, one of my personal favorites that we discussed was the poem about the Lighthouse. It is no secret that I am a huge lover of melancholy and horror pieces, and this poem was inspired by the psychological horror film of the same name, directed by Robert Eggers. It did a really good job of capturing the grey melancholy atmosphere of the world of the movie and really left you wondering if there was more to the story. I also felt that the author of this poem made the actual lighthouse a character in the poem, and personified it to the point that it felt like a full person. It was one of the first poems that I really connected with after reading and I even wrote another poem that used a lot of the similar writing techniques as this one. It was a big inspiration for my future pieces, and I am grateful for having the opportunity to read it.
My two favorite poems were:
House of Green (my own poem). This poem was a part of my Poe-e-tree project and Core 4 poems. This was one of my favorites because I enjoyed writing in-depth about the greenery that has taken over my house, and I think I had good imagery. And the poem itself and its contents are a representation of my mother. She is such a big person in my life, and so writing something about her and how she’s impacted me was something I really enjoyed.
Sister poem by Iris. I really liked this poem because it reminded me a lot of my relationship with my own sister—almost like Iris’s experiences were my own. My sister and I have never been one to show each other our love until we grew up and I moved to college. I don’t see her much anymore, but those memories together is what I often think about. And I think Iris wrote about the relationship between her and her sister really well.
5 thoughts on “EXERCISE # 3”
Revision reflection assignment
Within my revisions of core 4 there were two poems that I didn’t make any changes to at all. These poems are called Sterile and Ice. I think a part of the reason for not changing these poems is because I worked on changing them so much throughout the semester that by this time they are fully finished. Also, before even writing these poems I understood exactly what I wanted to portray when reading them.
The first poem that I decided to change was Boiling. I completely deleted the first two stanza which read. “ As I was drowning you tied rocks to my legs But now I’ve hiked to the peak, You ask for honesty Do you want the ‘right’ answer?”. I decided to delete these because the first two stanzas of this poem are completely different scenarios than the rest of the poem so it makes sense that the flow works so much better without it. I also enjoy that my new first line which is “It simmers in her chest Like water left to boil” is much more punchy than the previous first line.
The second poem that I decided to change was called Endeavorment of Meeting Someone There. I had a difficult time changing this poem because I truly didn’t know where I wanted to go with it or even the purpose/ message I wanted to convey to someone reading the poem. So, I decided to change it completely. This poem took me a long time to come to terms with, I definitely still have things I don’t want to face within this poem.
The difference of getting to hear feedback from others before explaining my poems to them vs after was really interesting. I liked getting to read my poem aloud the way I had written it to others then having them reflect on that. I believe it gave them a different perspective that was able to help them come up with other notes than what they had originally written by reading it and interpreting it by themselves. I preferred the peer review the way we did with groups of 3 that way you aren’t just hearing from one other person. This made it easier to bounce ideas off of each other and brainstorm to improve not just my own poem, but my partners. Hearing from my own professor was also helpful granted that the revision process doesn’t normally involve one’s professor. So, getting feedback from the one who teaches the poetry class was something I appreciated having the opportunity of. In terms of revising my poems, I made minor edits from the suggestions I was given. I find it difficult coming to terms with the way my poems turn out. This is because I always feel like there is room for improvement. Having read my poems over and over again, looking for ways to make it better, taking in the feedback I was given by others, it’s hard to make final edits. The way I avoided going down a constant hole of this was by not overanalyzing things too deeply. I am pleased with the outcome of my poems because I enjoyed the challenging writing process of them and they are something of a topic that resonates with me.
Throughout the semester, I have thoroughly enjoyed creating and reflecting on my own poetry as well as looking into the work and minds of other poets. One of my favorite poems I created came from our third free write, which I titled Prey for the Birds. I was inspired to include bird analogies as I think of birds representing freedom and strength; however, for that animal, it can quickly be taken away with one mistake. This poem reflects on a difficult time in my life, and it felt good to take a step back and look at it from a different angle, comparing it to the life and habits of a bird. This was one of the poems I chose for our Core 4 reflections, and I enjoyed further developing bird-like connotations and using this piece to reflect on the moment vs how I feel now. Another favorite poem from this semester was Sister because I relate it to my own sibling dynamic. I appreciate how the poem walks us along with the author’s memories of their youth and how their relationship with their sister developed. I especially enjoy the line, “because of you the house is warm.” I notice a tone of coming to terms with their relationship over the years and how their growth is admired. By the end of this piece, it’s clear the author has so much admiration for their sibling, and it seems the two are connected regardless of where life takes them. My relationship with my sibling is extremely important to me, and it’s nice to see that represented in another person’s values as well.
This semester really allowed me to become extremely comfortable with a writing style that I was not super familiar with before, which was poetry. It was something that I had no real prior knowledge of, and having the opportunity to really learn more about what poetry is and how to actually write it. With the knowledge and discussions that I faced throughout this semester, I truly believe that I wrote some of my best work in this course, and now I want to look back on some of the pieces that I had the pleasure of both reading and writing this semester. Firstly, I want to note one of the poems that I wrote this semester, and that is “Voices”, which ended up as one of my Core 4 poems. I felt this poem was my strongest poem, as it really combined my love of horror with my personable writing that I use to really tell my story of who I am as a person. All my writings are dedicated to the horror genre, but also are poems that are derived from my experiences in life, and I feel that this one combined my writing techniques with my love of genre the most fluently. I implemented some song lyrics that were written by a singer that I look up to and they really acted as the voices that I battle deep within me every day. This was a poem that laid my whole heart out to the reader, and I feel like the writing and story were incredibly strong.
When it comes to poems that we read and discussed in class, one of my personal favorites that we discussed was the poem about the Lighthouse. It is no secret that I am a huge lover of melancholy and horror pieces, and this poem was inspired by the psychological horror film of the same name, directed by Robert Eggers. It did a really good job of capturing the grey melancholy atmosphere of the world of the movie and really left you wondering if there was more to the story. I also felt that the author of this poem made the actual lighthouse a character in the poem, and personified it to the point that it felt like a full person. It was one of the first poems that I really connected with after reading and I even wrote another poem that used a lot of the similar writing techniques as this one. It was a big inspiration for my future pieces, and I am grateful for having the opportunity to read it.
My two favorite poems were:
House of Green (my own poem). This poem was a part of my Poe-e-tree project and Core 4 poems. This was one of my favorites because I enjoyed writing in-depth about the greenery that has taken over my house, and I think I had good imagery. And the poem itself and its contents are a representation of my mother. She is such a big person in my life, and so writing something about her and how she’s impacted me was something I really enjoyed.
Sister poem by Iris. I really liked this poem because it reminded me a lot of my relationship with my own sister—almost like Iris’s experiences were my own. My sister and I have never been one to show each other our love until we grew up and I moved to college. I don’t see her much anymore, but those memories together is what I often think about. And I think Iris wrote about the relationship between her and her sister really well.